Dating with Self-Worth: Dating Coach Naomie Thompson Explains How

If you've ever sat on your sofa in your fluffiest socks, swiping left and wondering if love really is out there, this one’s for you.

In this week’s episode of Help Me I’m Dating, I spoke to Naomie Thompson, dating and relationship coach, and the voice of reason your love life’s been craving.

She’s been through marriage, divorce, dating sites, and all the messy in-betweens.

Now, she helps women navigate love with self-worth, clarity, and a lot less overthinking.

“The relationship you want is the prize, not the man.”

This is the Naomie mantra. And once you hear it, it sticks.

“Feeling good in your own skin is the prize,” she said.

“Having the life you want is the prize, not the man you’re doing it with.”

She reflected on how many women, herself included, grow up chasing love and approval - especially when it was missing from a father figure.

“So deep in our bones we get this conditioning that we have to work hard for love... that love doesn’t come easy. So then we end up overcompensating and overdoing.”

What changed for her?

“As soon as I shifted to just focusing on myself and what I wanted… that was the shift. Learning how to communicate. Knowing what you want comes before being able to communicate what you want.”

Kayak vs yacht 

Naomie delivered possibly the best dating analogy I've ever heard.

Picture this: you’re standing on the south coast of England, hoping to sail to France. You’ve got two options, a shiny little kayak or a sturdy yacht.

"Some relationships… are like that kayak. It could be lovely, shiny, sleek — fun to paddle around in. But my goodness, it’s only going to get you across the Channel if the weather’s good and there’s a rescue boat with you."

Translation: date with intention.

Can we intentionally choose that yacht that is seaworthy, voyage-worthy, and relationship-worthy?

Here’s where Naomie gently hands us the mirror.

“I say to women, learn how to be a green flag for a great guy.” She said.

“So many of us want a guy who’s solid and reliable and can communicate… but are you bringing that energy too?”

Oof. That one lands, doesn’t it? But fair point by Naomie.

And if the shoe fits? Lace it up and do the work.

“Be the peach.”

I asked Naomie how she helps women feel safer in dating - you know, when your heart’s like, “No thanks, I’ve seen enough, actually.” And she gave me another one of her fab analogies.

“Most women,” she said, “learn to be strong on the outside. But I teach them to be strong on the inside.”

And then she told me about the egg and the peach.

Not a recipe. A metaphor. (Although I’d happily bake a crumble after this pep talk.)

“If you think being strong on the outside is like being an egg,” Naomie said, “then you’re always protecting a fragile inside. One crack, and everything falls apart.”

The egg looks tough, sure. But it’s all shell. And when you’re living life in egg-mode, you spend your energy holding it all in - hoping no one taps too hard.

But the peach? She’s got it sorted.

“A peach has her seed of strength on the inside,” Naomie explained, “so she can be soft, open, vulnerable on the outside.”

Strong at the core. Gentle everywhere else. That’s the goal.

And just before we wrapped up, Naomie dropped one last golden nugget - the kind you want to write on a Post-it and stick to your fridge, phone, and maybe your forehead:

“You cannot fail at attracting love. You either give up or you keep going.”

Honestly? That deserves its own merch line.

A mug. A mirror decal. A sweatshirt for every ex-induced spiral.

Whatever gets the message through: keep going.

Fancy going a little deeper?

Naomi’s also offering a free audio training called The 5 Keys to Finally Have the Love You Want - it’s packed with the exact tools she used to change her own love life.

Inside, you’ll learn:

• How to stop chasing and start attracting

• How to let men lead while feeling strong, soft, and totally yourself

• And how your feminine realness creates deeper connection - the kind that draws in a masculine man who genuinely wants to cherish you and make you feel safe, seen, and loved

Grab it here - it’s free, and just might be the next best step on your dating journey.

Sounds dreamy, right?

Naomie's episode, her practical dating process, and all the no-nonsense wisdom drops Monday.

Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and Amazon.

Find out more about Naomie's coaching at naomiethompson.com.