Are You Dating With Intention?

Are you dating with intention?

No, not in a clipboard-wielding, “I’ve made a chart” kind of way. But in a way that actually makes dating feel… easier. Kinder. More aligned with what you really want.

Because let’s be honest, if dating came with a user manual, a translator, and a therapist on speed dial, we’d all be thriving by now.

Instead, it’s often awkward texts, confusing emojis, and staying up too late wondering if that third date actually meant something.

But what if we dated with intention? 

Like choosing the nourishing option from the menu - even when the double-fried, emotionally unavailable one looks very tempting. (And let’s face it, it usually does.)

Dating with intention is about approaching romance with a bit more clarity, a little courage, and a healthy dose of self-kindness.

It’s not about being intense. It’s about being deliberate. It’s about giving yourself the best shot at the kind of love that doesn’t just make your heart flutter - but also shows up on time, texts back, and brings soup when you’re poorly.

Let’s clear the decks of the "meh" matches and aim for the "wow."

Here's how...

Step one: Know thyself - what do you actually want?

Before jumping into dating, have a cosy moment with yourself.

No apps, no scrolling, just you and a warm drink (blanket optional but highly recommended).

Ask yourself: What do I value most in life? What kind of life am I building?

Are you seeking a lifelong partner to build a future with? Or are you in a season of exploration - focusing on personal growth, friendships, smashing your career goals, and enjoying those sacred Sunday lie-ins with zero guilt?

This isn’t about mapping out a five-year plan or crafting a checklist titled “Perfect Partner.” It’s about tuning into you - your needs, desires, boundaries, and what lights you up.

Maybe you crave emotional depth. Maybe your non-negotiable is kindness. Or maybe you’ve realised that surface-level situationships leave you feeling empty, even if the banter was great.

When you’re clear on what you really want (and don’t want), dating becomes a whole lot less ugh and more ooh, maybe…

Suddenly, every date isn’t a test - you’re not trying to impress or perform. You’re simply gathering information. “Is this person aligned with my values and goals?” becomes your quiet guiding question.

And the best part? It takes the pressure off.

Step two: Set your intentions (and maybe a few boundaries too)

Saying “I’m just seeing where it goes” is totally fine - if you genuinely mean it.

But if you’re secretly hoping for something deeper while pretending to be chill, you’re not doing yourself (or your heart) any favours.

Dating with intention means being honest. And not just with others, but with yourself first.

So what are your intentions?

A slow-burn romance that turns into partnership?

Someone to share weekends, books, and the big stuff with?

Or maybe you're in a place where you're open to connection but don’t want to compromise your peace for someone who can’t even spell “emotional availability.”

You don’t need to arrive on a first date waving a vision board or reciting your life plan (unless you want to - in which case, absolutely go off). But dropping a gentle truth like, “I’m dating to find something meaningful,” is powerful. It sets the tone. It clears the fog. It lets you both be seen for where you are.

And yes - boundaries belong here too. You’re allowed to say no to confusing texting habits, late-night “wyd?” messages, or anyone who makes you feel like you’re asking for too much just because you’re asking for clarity.

Setting your intentions helps filter out the faff - the people who aren't aligned, the energy drainers, the commitment-phobes dressed as deep thinkers.

Intentional dating is about honouring your time and your energy. When you lead with clarity, you give others permission to do the same - or to step aside if they’re not on the same page.

And honestly? That’s a win either way.

Step three: stick to your lovely little gut

It’s so easy to get swept away by someone who’s all charm, cheekbones, and mysterious emojis - but doesn’t want the same things you do.

This is your reminder: You are not too much. You’re just asking the right questions.

If someone doesn’t match your energy, your values, or the basic human decency of replying to a text - they’re not your person. They’re a lesson. A mildly annoying one. Move on, my love.

You are not too picky. You are intentional. There’s a difference.

When you tune into that inner knowing - that quiet “hmm” when something feels off - you save yourself so much heartache. Trust it. Honour it. That gut of yours is wise and, frankly, underappreciated.

A little more heart behind the strategy…

Dating with intention isn’t about being uptight. It’s about clarity, self-awareness, and kindness - especially toward yourself.

It means you’re allowed to want something real. You’re allowed to have fun and be discerning. You’re allowed to skip the small talk and talk about things that actually matter.

And here's a truth worth holding onto: the more you date with intention, the easier it becomes to walk away from connections that aren’t right, without spiralling into self-doubt or writing a thesis on 'What Went Wrong.'

It’s not always easy but it is better.

The benefits of dating intentionally:

• Authentic connections – built on values, not vibes.

• Less heartache – because you're clearer from the start.

• Time saved – no more dates with people who can't communicate or commit.

• Personal growth – it sharpens your self-awareness like nothing else.

• Stronger trust – in yourself and in the person who gets you.

Less guessing, more knowing

Dating with intention doesn’t mean you won’t still meet a few frogs, flops, or people who say “I’m not ready for anything serious” five minutes after planning a weekend away.

But it does mean you’ll recover faster, choose wiser, and waste far less energy on people who don’t get the real you.

It’s not about finding the perfect person overnight. It’s about honouring your time, your heart, and your standards so that when the right person shows up, you’ll recognise them not by the butterflies, but by the calm.

You deserve a love that feels like home.

And dating with intention? That’s how you find it.